Sunday, 20 March 2016

Fuzzy fashion!

So, let's step back a bit to Luton airport, a small mortgage was taken out to purchase 7 pints of Guinness & a full English. I'm now bored & half cut so it's time to go shopping, ooh look duty free crap! So I'm in Curry's or whatever the electrical shop it was connecting my phone to various Bluetooth speakers to see how loud they are, turns out that not everyone is a Hawkwind fan!

Vaguely aware of my travels ahead I head to WH Smiths for some sustenance for the journey, so the drunk diabetic heads off to the boarding gate with a bag full of M&M's & jelly babies!

Fast forward to the hotel in Sofia, the restaurant is closed as it's getting late & the next pisser is my train to Lom is  at 07.10 & the hotel breakfast does not start until 0730. The train to Lom is around four & a half hours so basically all I had to eat in about 24 hours were M&M's & jelly babies, not my greatest bit of planning but I had made it from home to Lom using public transport.

Now my old mucca Paul was picking me up from the station, as the train rolled in I spotted his van parked outside. Now what I saw next was possibly a fashion disaster even by Bulgarian standards, in BG the shell suit is not making a comeback,  it kind of never left! Usually combined with a pair of Bulgarian stringy shoes , the shell suit is not gender specific & can be enjoyed by anyone of any age & in any temperature!

What I saw next kind of left me feeling like my soul wanted to escape via any available orifice. Walking towards me was Paul wearing a tee shirt, and shorts with his usual braces, this wasn't the issue, the shorts were cut down jeans cut quite short, then I though he had rigger boots on, but no, they were hand made Bulgarian knitted winter socks with a matching pair of Crocs!

Needless to say, Hot pants, Crocs & socks didn't make it to the catwalk for Sofia fashion week!

So enough piss taking for now. The main point of this journey was to buy bathroom tiles, a rough measure up to get enough for the bathroom & possibly the kitchen we visited several did type stores. Now when enquiring with the wife what colour she wants, the answer of "well you know what I like" is a trap to see if you've taken any notice of anything she's said over the last 16 years.

So after visiting several hardware/DIY stores it became very apparent that they were keen to sell you all the brown,  orange & cream patterned tiles that they had in stock since the mid 70's. Plain white was to be the safest option so after finding an off white I liked, I placed an order that would be there Monday. Monday arrives & we go back to the shop only to be told next day, just to be safe we gave them until Wednesday & they still weren't there.

It's Thursday, I'm due to get a train back to Sofia at 2pm, we pop into the shop & the tiles are there but it's too late for me so Sue & Paul return after lunch to pick them up for me.

I'm waiting for the train & there in a little old lady standing there with the biggest bag I've ever seen. I lift her bag onto the train for her & she says thank you in perfect English, not something you expect from an older generation, I'm stuck with her & her BO for the next 5 hours!

I've returned to the same hotel as before, rooms are clean etc & it's a few minutes walk from the station. I'm in the small bar area ordering food from an old blonde girl that's dressed like an ageing stripper. The food is cooked in a restaurant over the road, the old bird totters over in her stripper heels to collect it. I'm sitting eating by meal and in the hotel reception is a younger blonde dressed in black who I assumed was a lady of negotiable affection. She approached a chap in the bar, they exchanged a few words & went upstairs,  I wondered why she never approached me earlier as a potential customer. The next morning the same girl served me breakfast & it turned out the guy was her boyfriend who worked there too. That could of been embarrassing!

So I set off home that morning, I walked to the metro station which is all new, managed to work out the route & where to change & made it to the airport, the new metro station at the airport is really nice, all shiny marble (looking) floors. Jump on the shuttle bus to terminal 1 & I'm on the plane.

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